Am I getting depression....

 Lately I really stressed over a lot of things, work, money and etc.... I also trying my best to behave normally but overtime I really felt I can't take it anymore and cry silently. People might think it a small matter and can be solve... But the waiting time to solve the problem really draining my energy and life away. I even thought of ending everything here and now. I feel like leaving everything behind and just find a place to hide. However, because of my mom and I don't have the courage to do so. I did thought of ending my life but I know it will cause other people pain. I rather stay alive but can I just leave the society of working and thinking about money? I really hope I have the saving to leave work and travel but it seems unrealistic to me especially I do not have that sort of support. When I see people go travel, I really jealous and think how the got the money to do so? Where they found the time? Seriously how to make myself feel better... I really don't know. I am trying but it gotten exhausting......

Stop Nagging!

I dont need ppl to tell me to go on diet or get thin! My sis only getting thin by the age of 28 n i'm only 22 so dont fucking compare me with my sis saying why i'm fat! Pls be bloody considerate that my sis was much fatter than me when she 22! I dont need ppl to tell me to be my sis! I am me! I will get thin when i want to! She got work and my dad purposely buy slimming drink for my sis n not me!!! So of course she get thin without working out! Fucking ppl so damn annoying! Im still a freaking student!!!! So I got no money to go gym or buy a slimming drink! My dad is bias to my sis n ppl also like her more than me! So i dun freaking care if i thin or fat!

Update

This year I was upset with certain people....... (⋟﹏⋞)

Indian Girl AKA GHOST
- She thinks she very pretty and thin(skeleton) while she think everyone is too fat ( I admit I am FAT but other girls are pretty thin!) _(´ཀ`」 ∠)_

- She thinks I'm very bossy which is TRUE but its because this fellow have no sense of responsibility. (Trust me, we gave her the chance to be leader but she totally ruined it and it cause us trouble too) ノಠ_ಠノ

- She likes to talk about her boyfriend (I don't mind people talk about their boyfriend but this girl over and talk about something that other people does not need to know)

- She ask nonsense which is where is the class? when is exam? where to take the notes?... (HELLO its not the first day of school she should know!) ლಠ益ಠ)ლ

- A lot more things i hate about her.........( Too much until I Lazy to talk about it) ┻━┻ミ＼（≧ロ≦＼）

Chinese Girl AKA Ipoh girl(because she from Ipoh)
- She always look at my phone without permission and goes through my private message and pictures.（♯▼皿▼）

- She tries to see what is my phone password when I was hiding to press the password. ( She even say my password loudly)|c==(-T )

- Again she thinks she is more pretty than other girls.... (Trust me she not ugly but not so pretty too)

- When I tell her my stories, she make those stories hers and tells other people.....╭∩╮（︶︿︶）╭∩╮

- Always cry but its sort of like an acting. (Trust me I'm a crybaby and i know she faking it to gain whole glass attention.) (¬▂¬)

Oh well there are too many drama in college..... ＿|￣|○

Stupid People

I'm now on the way to learning driving..... I'm suppose to take the driving test on Monday......

BUT that stupid uncle expect me to pay RM100 for 2 hours for 1 week which i didnt do......

HE TAKE MY NAME OUT OF THE LIST!!!
WTF!!! I paid RM 1410 to learn driving for 3 months n u just took my name out of the list becoz i did not give him extra money!!!!

University Life...

People keep saying that I shouldn't post anything online...... but I will still post it since none of the people willing to listen and they will just say the same thing " Just forget it" "Why you have to be like this" "NO you shouldn't do this" "You should......". I got fed up because no one say "Why are they like that" "Why they do this to you" "They should..."

I was hoping someone understand my feelings instead of lecture me and telling me what to do......

I was hoping someone will be in the same situation like me.......

I was hoping..........there is someone like me..........

I am older, yet I got lecture by younger....

I am older, yet they disrespect me....

I am older, yet they ordering me around....

I don't know why my university life is so much drama.....

Why can't I go back to my primary or secondary school life.....

Where everything is less drama....

Where everyone is immature.....

Why can't I? Why can't we?

Because WE CAN'T.........

Fight

It's had been a long time since I post a complain... Now I studying in college and a lot assignment come up. Group assignment is really hard when someone don't give cooperation. I did most of the stuff where they are 2 ppl share a simple job which I can finish it within 1 day . I gave them 5 days but they couldn't finish it. They even blame me for pressuring them and not helping them. Why don't I just do everything and give you the score. You say I disrespect you , hurt you and you are disappointed but do you know if you work that time your boss will not respect you! I apology and you don't want to accept so is it my problem now! If its over FINE !!! I will just make sure you does not get any marks! Dont say I cruel!!!

DIE!

I give myself 5 more years to live if nothing can help me to escape this humiliation I will end my life.......I seriously have been standing this humiliation for too long.....I have been thinking of dead even I 5 years old.

I have been trying to run away from home.....but never success..... I also have been waiting for someone or something to take me away even my life....

I was born not for comparing, not for humiliation, not for being told useless or brainless. I not someone who don't have feeling....If u know I very sensitive then u shouldn't step on my tail n make me bite u but u still blaming me for biting without reason n saying that i'm rude.....

For years i've been thinking the ways to end my life starting from less  pain.....car accident, jump, cut wrist or hanged......even coma will do but till now nothing happen....but i seriously have enough.....

Even if I have friends with me but they are not for eternity....they have their own life. Its not my right to stop their life from going on....They can't take me out from this black hole....

I've been fallen too deep into this "hole"..... I can't get back up unless i see a light, a path for me to move on.....

Enough is enough. No more.....Now I 20, 5 more years is 25.... I'll try to survive longer if possible....